What to do if I do not like my son's friends

During puberty and adolescence, boys undergo many changes, one of the largest occurs in their social environment . They begin to further strengthen the bond with their friends, to spend a great deal of time with them and in many cases completely modify their social circle. It is in this scenario that many parents find changes in behaviors and with friends that are not entirely beneficial for the young person. That's when many parents wonder what to do if they do not like one or several friends of their child, a delicate issue that should be treated with care. In .com we give you some tips to clarify the panorama and lead you to a solution.

one

During puberty and adolescence, friends are one of the most important things for your child. Share with them at school, outside of school, at leisure times and in almost every possible situation. Having a social circle is fundamental for them during this stage, which is why they often feel so threatened when one of the parents declares that their friend or group of friends are not good for him / her.

This situation puts the children on the defensive, producing a scenario of discomfort and hostility, which leads to conflicts and discussions. Hence the importance of approaching the issue with intelligence to avoid getting out of hand.

two

The ideal is to act in such a way that the home does not become a field of constant struggles and discussions with your child, but where to start?

Communication between parents and children is fundamental. In a family in which there is an open dialogue it is much simpler to address certain issues, and to know about our children without them feeling threatened. In addition to talking frequently and trying to share quality time together, it is good to keep a pact with your children to know where they are and with whom they share the time they are away from home.

3

Many times children get entangled in problematic situations by an idea or group invention that is not necessarily the fault of a single young person. Before determining that a friendship does not suit your child, take the time to meet the boy or group of boys .

Organize a meeting, party or trip with your child's friends, this pretext will allow you to observe them closely and see their behavior. So your intuition and experience will help you determine if someone in the group is a bad influence for him / her.

4

Once you have known them you can create a stronger opinion. It is also good and timely to meet the parents of our children's friends, especially those with whom they spend more time. Closely observing the parenting they have received and determining whether they are responsible people often helps prevent future problems and conflicts.

5

But all of these recommendations are valid before an alarm situation occurs, what to do when several incidents indicate that your child has bad friendships? To start do not give the war frontally, the strategy is the best weapon.

Intervening is important, but doing it in front could provoke an attack of rebellion or be counterproductive, it is best to do it in other ways. Many times it is possible to make your child aware that this friendship is not good, subtly reinforcing those things that have happened and that have harmed him, and making the young person understand that in the end that behavior will take him down a path that is not the one he / she wants.

Making the young person understand that friendship is much more than fun, and laughter, and that real friends would never harm us or do something that affects us, is a good way to open a small door for your child to reflect and think about of the subject

6

The acts have consequences, and if your child has decided to break all the rules to share with a friend that does not suit you, you should know that it will affect you. Many times the children leave conflicting friendships when they realize that, since these people appeared, they also started other problems such as restrictions or punishments given by the parents, problems with teachers or low grades, and that the result is that they have been affected

It is not about making your home a battlefield, but your son should know that breaking the established rules has consequences, and that before letting himself be carried blindly by his friends, he should reflect.

7

When things get out of hand, and the health or integrity of your child is in danger, it is important to intervene more directly .

Children must make their own decisions, but it is the parents' duty to lead them to reflections and to see the truth. When the young person does not want to inform where he is going, or what he will do, when communication starts to be lost, it is necessary to mark an urgent conversation with your child.

Shouts and threats have little effect, so an open, but strong conversation is usually received better. Tell your opinion clearly, confess that you trust their criteria but that you are worried, show them the way and ask them to react and reflect.

If you think that you just can not, go to the help of a specialist in adolescent behavior, in order to receive passwords that help you to deal with this situation and avoid your son end up hurting himself.