How to overcome rancor

Resentment is like a slab that prevents us from feeling free, happy and calm, a pending account that does not allow us to move forward. Knowing how to overcome resentment is one of the most useful tools to take a step further in our personal growth and emotional well-being. Resentment makes it difficult to turn the page and look to the future, it generates a stagnation in your life that causes you to constantly look at it through a rear-view mirror, anchoring yourself to a painful past from which you are not able to escape.

During our existence we suffer and suffer innumerable grievances, caused mostly by the inherent imperfection of the human being, therefore, it is impossible to avoid suffering disappointments, abandonment, insults, rejections or injustices. If you want to free yourself from the bondage of resentment and learn how to overcome the grudge, in .com we provide you with the necessary tools to achieve it.

one

Desahógate. Talk to the people you trust about how you feel. Share with them your feelings and emotions of revenge, pain, helplessness or disappointment that are trapped like a whirlpool inside you. Let the rage and tears come out. Do not keep them inside.

Talking about our feelings is therapeutic, that alone will make you feel much better. Do not express our emotions, on the contrary, it makes it more complicated to digest and process them, which makes it easier for us to remain anchored in resentment and reproach.

If you can, talk to the person who has hurt you and explain how you feel. Remember that it does not offend who wants, but who can, so in part you are responsible for the importance you give to the grievance and the feelings that this causes you. For this reason, it is important to initiate the phrases in this type of contexts as "I have been hurt by what you have told me" or "I have felt rejected", instead of saying "your words are cruel" or "you have rejected me" .

If you can not talk to the person, you can use a technique used in psychology that is to imagine that you have the person in front, sitting in a chair. Sit in front of her and express everything you would say if she were really there, with the forcefulness that you would if you were free to tell her.

two

People are imperfect, so you should know that you have also hurt someone even if you have not been aware of it. Accepting that we have defects and that, therefore, also others have them, is essential to learn how to overcome the grudge.

Others do not always know how to treat us, how to love us or what our needs and desires are. Communication is the tool we have to express what we want and that others can understand. We can not expect people to know what we need by the mere fact of being our partner, children, parents or friends. Although in the end we are all similar, we do not all have the same needs, priorities or expectations.

It is important to accept our imperfections and be more lenient with ourselves. If we are with us, we will also be with others and we will be able to forgive more easily.

3

Look forward. Find a new goal in your life, a new illusion. That will force you to place your vision in the future instead of in the past, it will cause you to forget and accelerate the process of forgiveness. Help your mind to situate itself in the present and future to be able to let go of the things of the past that have caused you pain or resentment.

4

Overcoming anger is easy if you learn to free yourself from the need for revenge. If you spin around in your head the idea of vendetta, you can not forget or forgive. Even if you believe, wrongly, that revenge will help you, you are wrong. Deliberately provoking pain can give you temporary happiness, but it will not help you to create in you the necessary tools to overcome the grudge, since you will resort to the revenge every time they hurt you. That will only belittle you as a person and will generate in you hostile feelings with which you will have to live for the rest of your life.

5

Finally, remember that others are a reflection of ourselves. If every time you feel humiliated, outraged or hurt you remember this, the pain will be less and you will be on the way to overcome the grudge. Cheer up!