How to set limits for my children

One of the most difficult obligations we have as parents, is the fact of establishing rules and putting limits on our children. Many times, we try to avoid confronting our children for various reasons. When parents are absent for much of the day at home, the guilt for not being able to cope with their children, leads to excessive consent and no limits as a way to remedy their absence. However, the limits are necessary for the child to develop in life, and may be aware of how important responsibility is. If we do not teach you that there are things that can not be done, it is difficult for them to know how to say no to the different situations they may face. Next, we will introduce you, how to set limits for my children.

one

Clarity. When we tell our children that something can not be done or is wrong, we must be clear. We must explain the reasons why certain things can not be done, so that they can understand the consequences that would imply if this will be done. For example, if we tell you that you can not touch a plug, we must explain that if you touch it you can hurt yourself because the current will affect it.

two

Firmness. Once we told them that something can not be done, we must stand firm in that position. Children usually try to convince us to achieve what they want, but if we retract, they will know how to act so that next time they can do it anyway. For example, if we told you that you can not go to a friend's house to play, even if you cry and scream, we must keep our decision. We can not get carried away by his attitude.

3

Trust. Beyond the reaction that children have to the limits, we must remain calm and firm. The decision made is for your well-being. Many times, parents have the difficult task of being "the bad guys", however, then the child will understand that it is for their own good. Be confident in your decisions and think that the child's reaction is temporary, because as soon as you forget that you could not do something, it will be fine with you again.

4

Communication. In order for the rules and limits to have the expected effect, it is necessary to be able to talk with the children. The impulsive actions and shouting will not allow the child to see the real reason for your decision. Therefore, whenever you consider it necessary to apply a rule, you should keep calm and talk with the children. In this way, the rules will not be associated with negative situations.

5

Consequences. When children break a rule you must know what the consequences will be. Only in this way, will they be aware of their mistakes. For example, if we ask you not to play with the ball inside the house and they do it anyway, we will tell you that for a time they will not be able to play with the ball, neither inside the house nor outside. Previously, we will have explained the reason why they could not play with the ball inside the house.

6

Alternatives. Every time we put a limit we must explain an alternative behavior. For example, taking the previous case, when we tell them that they can not play inside the house with the ball, we explain that if they can play in the back of the house or in the park, since they are open places and more suitable for a game of those characteristics. In this way, the limit does not imply is synonymous with absolute prohibition.

7

Disapproval. When children have inappropriate behavior, it is important to reinforce the idea that what is wrong is the behavior and not them. Children do not have to feel that they are bad or you want them less for that, but they have to be clear that it is behavior that is not right.

8

Control. When our children have inappropriate behavior, we are often angry and often do not realize that our anger may be exaggerated in relation to the child's behavior. That is why it is important to try to calm down and avoid that our anger leads us to carry out negative actions for children. If we want our children to become aware of their error, we must talk to them and explain them calmly.