Why I feel that my mother does not love me

It is a topic that is not usually treated, in fact it seems that there is a certain taboo about it, that it is impossible. The reality is that it is something that exists as strange as somebody may think: there are mothers who do not love their daughters, and we say daughters because normally, that disaffection is directed towards them.

The consequences in the lives of these daughters are many and we will approach them in this article. Do you wonder why I feel that my mother does not love me ? Keep reading and we will explain the causes, the solutions and the effects that this problem has.

Why my mother does not love me

To answer this question we have to start talking about the toxic mothers, the profile of a woman who ends up making her children feel that way. In recent years society has changed too much, the ways to not get pregnant are many, as well as respecting the fact of a woman not being a mother. Toxic mothers are usually women who have not been mothers by sheer will. Either because it is their job to do it, because they have not had the right to decide it or because of unwanted pregnancies, these mothers have had to give birth and raise children they did not really want .

If we take this into account, it is not so strange to think that not only did they not love their daughters unconditionally, but they have also seen them as a problem, an annoyance or even as a rival that can have what they have not been able to do. to have.

In addition, within the characteristics of toxic mothers we find:

They are usually very childlike women.
They are usually very narcissistic women.
They have never assumed the role that corresponds to them as mothers.
They only look at their wishes and needs.
They are very unhappy women.
They project their accumulated dissatisfaction on their daughters.

How to identify a toxic mother

There is not a single type of toxic mother, this feeling that your mom does not love you can come in different ways. For example, there are some who envy everything in the daughter's life, others who overprotect to the extreme to avoid their independence, others who try to nullify the will, some who absorb, others who use victimhood repeatedly and permanently, other mothers who act in a dependent way making believe that it is a duty of the daughter to satisfy all their desires, et cetera.

However, something that is common in all of them and that serves to identify a toxic mother is the use of the following aspects against their daughters:

They use the guilt.
They make cruel critiques.
They are very manipulative.
They humiliate constantly.
They have no empathy.
They are very selfish.
They envy the successes of the daughter.
They do not want to give independence to the daughter.
They make them feel that they are the victims.

Consequences of having a toxic mother

Accepting that your mother does not love you is hard, in fact, it is one of the most complicated emotional processes to overcome, with consequences that suffer in all aspects of the person's life. Some of these consequences are:

They are insecure people.
They are people with low self-esteem.
People with constant need for approval.
Very self-demanding people.
People with difficulties in emotional intimacy.

All these consequences have a common cause, the lack of love during childhood and youth, however, this cause must be added other aspects, mainly, the misunderstanding of society .

We have explained it in the introduction and we will repeat it. The fact that a mother does not love her daughter is something taboo, something that society not only does not understand, but looks the other way and refuses to see. In these cases, the close circle does not accept that there is no parental love, but hide it or believe that it is exaggerated.

How to deal with a toxic mother

If you feel that your mother does not love you, it is normal to want to reverse that situation. It is likely that you have spent your childhood seeking the approval of your progenitor, but whatever you did it seemed that nothing was enough. This can lead to adulthood seeking constant approval and feeling insecure.

You may have achieved great academic achievements, a good job, earn a lot of money, have a fantastic family, yet you feel that you are not enough . The worst of all is that you can end up chronifying that situation, acting in the same way with your children.

That is something that should be avoided at all costs. Depending on the case it may be essential to receive psychological help to resurface the person who has been hidden after so many reproaches. You must be aware that everyone is capable of directing their life, that freedom is something that no one can take away from you, nor your mother.

Learning what has happened to you throughout your life is a very important first step, from here you can accept that all your efforts to please your mother will be unsuccessful, so you should distance yourself from her emotionally - even physical - to recover your happiness.