How to mediate in a family discussion

Every family, no matter how big, small, unorthodox or a typical family, can have arguments and controversies . If these discussions involve only two members of the family or include the entire clan, it is important to resolve the family's arguments in a way that satisfies everyone or, at the very least, makes everyone feel that they were treated fairly and with love. . Here are some tips to mediate a family discussion .

one

Choose a neutral place. Do your mediation or family reunion in a place or a room that has the same value for all family members and can be considered neutral ground. Spaces such as the living room or the dining room are good because they all belong and, being larger, they can sit comfortably and have more space. Avoid smaller rooms like someone's bedroom, where the mediating parties will feel uncomfortable, and the person who lives in that room will feel invaded if he wants to mediate family discussion in a non-neutral space.

two

Let each one speak. It is important that all those involved in the argument are allowed to present their case and express their opinion regarding the issue in question. Allowing a person to dominate the conversation or mediation will only make other family members feel resentful of that person and consider that their opinions are not heard. It will help you to have an object or a sign indicating whose it is the turn to speak and to establish a rule at the beginning of the mediation that only the person in possession of that object can speak. Make the object neutral, such as a cushion or a kitchen spoon and make sure it is constantly passed.

3

Rate the opinions of all. It is likely that everyone has an opinion on the issue or has been affected by it, even if it is not directly one of the parties to discuss. It is convenient to sit in a circle or on the floor to indicate that everyone in the family has feelings that are worth the same and give each family member, no matter how young, the opportunity to speak should they need to.

4

Talk with respect. It can be easy to raise your voice or confront the family member you are arguing with because, well, they are family! But remember that after the discussion is over it will still be your family, and that is what matters. Make sure that everyone speaks calmly, in a civilized manner and showing respect to everyone else who participates in the mediation, which will help avoid an attack of anger and hurt feelings beyond what is already done. It might help to have a signal such as a red card that the mediator may have to indicate that voices are rising and things are getting out of hand, which may be a signal for everyone to stop and take a breather before continuing.

5

Say goodbye on good terms. Family discussions are not always resolved quickly and mediations do not always mean that everyone is totally satisfied. Remain and discuss things for as long as necessary to ensure that everyone involved feels that their problems have been addressed and that the problem has been solved or, at least, will be addressed. Even if it is a question that can not be solved from one day to the next, nobody should get away from an angry mediation or with the feeling that their time was wasted. Take as much time as you need to be sure that everyone leaves on good terms and that the mediation has been done correctly.

6

Forget it. They are a family. Surely they alter with each other from time to time. But at the end of the day, they will still be family. So if things have been talked about, apologies have been made or steps have been taken to correct what was wrong, let it go. Holding grudges and resentments will only separate them and make the next discussion even worse. As a mediator, evaluate if you feel that the parties in dispute are genuine in the forgiveness of others and if the situation has been resolved. If not, keep it until it is done.

• If you are in the middle of a family discussion try not to take part and help to approach positions.
• It is not advisable to have family discussions at times, special celebrations, everything gets worse.