6 characteristics of a toxic mother

Relations with parents are not always easy because there are fathers and mothers, whose behavior with children can be defined as toxic because it harms the child's development, growth and step into adult life, as well as being able to negatively influence emotions, relationships with friends and in sentimental life.

This time, we will focus on the toxic mothers so you know how to recognize them and detect if you maintain this type of relationship with your mother. And, how can you know? Here we tell you 6 characteristics of a toxic mother so that you recognize her regardless of whether she is controlling, inaccessible, disdainful, envious or narcissistic, among other types that exist.

Insecurity, a characteristic of toxic people

One of the main characteristics of a toxic mother is insecurity, which is what causes her to see children as a lifeline or survival to everything that makes her feel insecure or causes some fear such as loneliness.

In this way, in order to feel better and safe, she always tries to control and keep her children at her side so they do not leave her side. A control that tends to exercise from childhood, but that accentuates as it grows and begin to have friends to leave or start dating relationships.

To avoid it and not have the anxiety that these situations generate, he usually resorts to all kinds of tricks and tricks, he can even project his fears, fears and insecurities in his children so that they do not do what they want and they always stay at his side.

Are you one of those who feel that your mother does not love you? In this article we talk about it.

Excessive control

Another way to recognize a toxic mother is because of excessive control over her children. This, in practice, means that children do not have any capacity to decide on what they do or want to do, and it is always the mother who decides.

This type of behavior is obviously harmful because it prevents children from learning to be autonomous and to know that mistakes can be made with the decisions that are made and that any decision entails consequences.

If you live with her, here we give you good advice so you can learn to live with a toxic person.

Too much protection

Another characteristic of a toxic mother is the distrust she feels about friends or anyone around her children. Normally, what they try is to protect them so they do not have friendships or relationships with people that the mother does not like because they think they can harm their child, interfere in the plans they have for them or simply fear that they can separate them. .

This is also counterproductive in children because it can cause problems to relate to others and even isolate them from their circle and have no friends. The opposite effect can also be produced: friendships are kept secret, which end up in an isolation of the family or in a concealment of the life that really takes away.

Indifference, another characteristic of toxic mothers

Although there are toxic mothers who are very aware of the control they exercise or try to exercise on children, there are also mothers who have the characteristic of indifference with which they are still equally toxic. But do not be fooled because it is not like that. And it is that, normally, camouflage under indifference or the mask of permissiveness or tolerance not wanting to manage or deal with conflicting situations or that can generate a clash between mother and children. That is, it acts as if nothing ever happened. However, sometimes, in reality, the mother really feels indifference.

This is also negative in children because it is common for them to become people who do not know how to defend themselves in adult life and who have a high degree of frustration because they are used to having what they want and when they want it.

Passivity and aggressiveness

The toxic mother is recognizable by the change in her moods, which oscillate between passivity or aggressiveness . This occurs because he looks for the strategy or makes changes in it to get what he wants from his children and influence them.

Another extreme can also occur: the mother remains passive and maintains her education because she does not understand that she is rejected or takes into account previous experience and conflicting situations that may have occurred.

Ideal children

A toxic mother will also try to make her children that ideal person that she has not become . And this can affect any facet of life, whether at an academic or professional level or at a personal level. This process can begin already from small to point them to activities such as playing football or singing or ballet classes. Of course, the tastes and preferences of the children are not taken into account. In addition, the process continues with the decision of the studies that must be done, the profession that will be exercised and, even, it gets to interfere in the choice of the couple or is prevented from having it.

All this can become very suffocating for the children because in addition the mother will try to make that "perfect person" in the shortest possible time. A reason why they demand a lot of children, even to stop talking or recriminate that they do everything wrong if they do not achieve the goals set by the mother. Normally, this attitude is justified as an unconditional love and help to the children so that they get everything that she did not have or did not achieve or so that the same mistakes of the mother in the past are not made.

If after these tips you realize that it is definitely toxic, here are some tips so you know how to deal with a toxic mother and bring the best possible relationship.