How to live with someone you can not stand

Human beings are social beings by nature but, of course, everyone has their preferences. Usually we choose who we want to share our time with and our space, but sometimes we do not have that possibility to choose. Sometimes, we have to share our life with a relative or with a roommate (or even roommate). There may be a situation where coexistence is difficult because you do not support this person (maybe, even something mutual). If this is your case, do not miss this article about how to live with someone you can not stand .

Main problems of coexistence

Although the list could be infinite, there are a number of problems that are usually common to difficult coexistence. Let's see below what are the most common cohabitation problems :

• Use the products of others : this happens in shared apartments, but also in normal family homes. In the shared flats it is more evident: they have taken some product of yours cleaning, hygiene or your food, and it shows. In family homes there is less separation of property, but equally, we all have something that is only ours and we do not want to be spent, at least, without asking for permission.
• Splurge on common expenses : either because we pay them all together or because one person takes care of all of them, waste is often a reason for frequent discussion.
• The disorder and the dirt : in all the convivencias, at some moment, frictions arise by this question.
• Excess noise : you do not have to be very sensitive to noise; It is enough that we have to live with a person who makes more noise than normal or in the hours of rest for sparks to arise.
• Lack of privacy : whoever is the person we can not stand in our coexistence, this can be very tiring. Let them open the door without knocking, look at our cell phone, or our computer, to open our correspondence ...

Reasons for difficult coexistence

It is clear that, to be able to choose, nobody lives with someone with whom it is difficult to do so. If you live with your partner and can not stand it, it is clear that it is a problem with a solution. However, there are other cases in which you do not support any person, like these, and do not have such an easy solution:

• Your parents but you can not become independent.
• Your children but can not become independent.
• Some member of your political family who lives with you and your partner.
• Some roommate, you have to share housing for economic reasons.

How to live with someone you can not stand

Although each person is a world, there are some actions that can help us in this situation and thus learn to live with someone we can not stand :

The first step is to accept what happens

This does not mean that you resign, or that everything is the same, but we should not fight against this because "it should not happen". The world is not fair, many times things happen that we would not like. Accepting that this is our reality will make us less rigid and negative and more willing to find solutions.

Talk about what bothers us with that person

Sometimes, we get angry with the other person because he does something that bothers us but we do not tell him. We just let you notice our anger without explaining where it comes from. It is important that, at a time when we are not very angry, we tell you what bothers us and we ask you to stop doing it. Most of the time, the other person will not have realized that that bothered us and talking about things improves coexistence. Also, it's time to ask if we do something that bothers you: do not be selfish!

House Rules

It is important to establish rules of coexistence from the start: when receiving this family member or when moving to a shared apartment. However, if it has not been done from the beginning, nothing happens, it's never too late. It is better to stop, sit and talk, and leave written rules that everyone agrees, as well as calendars that mark who gets everything (tasks or enjoy certain things). For example, what day it is your teammate's turn to clean the floor; or when it's your mother-in-law's turn to choose what's on TV.

Kindness is necessary for coexistence

Sometimes, when we do not support someone, we begin to be hostile towards that person. Or, if it is that person who begins to be hostile, we simply return hostility. A good way to break away from this rarefied environment is to be kind. Many people think: "Why do I have to be nice to me, if it's their fault?" Basically, for your own survival: you need to reduce the tension of the environment, and you need to stop being in that situation of continuous bad mood. Just for the best you'll feel with yourself, it's already worth being nice, but, in addition, you may get the other party to lower your hostility too.

No one said it was easy, but a good attitude can greatly improve coexistence with someone you can not stand .