How to forgive a lie

One of the worst enemies in any relationship is the lie. The loss of confidence is capable of breaking even the most established relationship, not only of a couple, but of friendship, work or even family. After lying to the closest person will be much more difficult to trust you and believe in your words. This small inner rupture, called disappointment, can make a dent and have worse consequences than a painful truth.

However, we can all make mistakes and the important thing is to assess the degree of seriousness of the lie before making a radical decision. In .com we believe in second chances, so in the following article we explain how to forgive a lie . Follow our advice and you will regain confidence in the person who has disappointed you.

one

Before making any decision and definitively breaking a relationship for a lie, it is essential that you listen to the version that the other party has to say. First, to make sure of the true truth and, secondly, to try to discover what has led to the lie. Sometimes, the mistake made is small, but wanting to hide it - either out of shame, out of fear of reprisal or out of trust - can have more serious consequences. Therefore, it is essential to discover why this lie .

two

Communication. It is as important to listen as to speak on the subject . If you are willing to understand and even forgive a lie, it is essential that the person who has failed you really know how you feel, only then will you become aware of what you have done. If the problem has broken out in a romantic relationship, we recommend that you read our article on improving the communication of the couple where you will find advice on this.

3

It is important to listen and be heard but you must measure the times to carry out this talk. That is to say, it is not advisable to speak when you have just learned of the betrayal, because, instead of being calm, you will get even more nervous and in the discussion you can get dirty rags and hurtful words on both sides. It is better to leave a few days of reflection and carry out the conversation once you are ready to listen to the other party and willing to understand and fully understand their betrayal.

4

Assume your guilt . Even if it seems crazy, many times we are the ones who provoke the betrayal of another person. They may feel distant, that we are inaccessible, that we have reinforced our trust, that we have not paid attention, that we have allowed the lack of communication to settle between us ... There are multiple reasons why a person may lie. Therefore, it is important that you assume your share of responsibility if you decide to take the step and forgive the betrayal.

5

Sometimes it is difficult to express everything one feels without hurting the other. On this occasion, both parties should be prepared to listen to things you do not like and to assume your part of guilt, only then you can get to the bottom of the matter and repair any damage caused. It is important to speak clearly but not expressly to do harm. Simply, it is worth emphasizing your feelings, your pain, your disappointment to seek sincere repentance from the other person.

6

If you decide to forgive, you must do it with all of the law. Not only is it valid to pronounce it or say it in words, but you must be consistent and consistent with your actions and decisions. The act of forgiving a lie supposes restoring trust in the other . We know that it is something that is achieved with time and effort but you must propose not to reproach or distrust the first change or with the smallest suspicious detail that comes your way.

In the case of romantic relationships this can be somewhat complicated especially if third parties have appeared. In this article we tell you how to regain trust in the couple so that you have in mind some tips that will help you overcome this doldrums.

7

Maintaining control, being patient and repositioning confidence little by little are the keys to forgive a lie. Of course, on the other hand you must observe an effort to win back your trust and mend the error. Remember that it is you who is forgiving the damage they have caused to you, so you must prove the fidelity of the other person.

8

Drawing a plan can help you. In what sense? Very easy. When it comes to regaining confidence and that things return to their place, it is likely that the person who has made the mistake must go through some penances. You simply have to make him understand that, unconsciously, you will control more his movements and his words.

Just do not be hard if you do not want the relationship to break completely in the future. Within this plan of shock to regain confidence there may be terms that both of you work on, such as communication, time together or self-confidence: telling each other things without reproach.

9

If, however, you decide to go ahead with your plan to forgive a lie, you must be trying to do a clean slate and a new account . Do not look for any excuse to remember what he did wrong, to reproach him for all the damage he did to you or to reproach him for his mistakes. The decision to forgive must be profound and you must assume the consequences of this act of love, understanding and trust if you do not want to lie again in the long run.

10

In case it is a very difficult situation for you, you can resort to the help of professionals . Psychological treatments, as well as couples or family therapies, will help you to redirect the situation so that you can manage it and have control over it and, thus, to feel at peace and be able to forgive a lie.