How to help a battered woman

Do you think that someone from your environment may be suffering from mistreatment ? It is important that in order to help this person you show yourself close, understanding and, above all, that you never feel that you are attacking him. Battered women often feel very guilty when they decide to take the step and ask for help, so you should never be too firm or angry with her, on the contrary: you should be close and reach out to her to lean on you everything you need. In this article we tell you how to help a battered woman so that you know what you have to take into account to get your friend out of the well.

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One of the first aspects to keep in mind is that a battered woman often feels afraid of her situation and, before confessing what is happening, several months, even years, may have passed. Therefore, if she has told you that she is suffering from ill-treatment, it is already an obvious sign that she is asking for help with shouts, so get down to work to try to help her from that moment.

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The first thing you have to do is convince her to leave home and set herself apart from the focus of the abuse: her husband. You have to try to talk to her and understand that if she stays at home it is likely that a similar situation will happen again and she will be immersed in a vicious circle from which it will be difficult to leave. Try to explain that on another occasion the blow may be less strong and, then, she does not feel that she is being mistreated.

One of the most common characteristics of women who live this situation is that they become very permissive and, therefore, if one day they stick with less force or the abuser is less violent, they appreciate it and feel that they are not being battered. It is important that you make it clear that love is not violence but that it is respect, communication and tolerance . As soon as a man raises a woman's hand, he has already lost respect and that is very difficult to recover.

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You should know that it will be difficult for you to convince her to leave her husband because, normally, these women usually confess that they are still in love with them . Why does this happen? Because an abusive person, after the episode of violence, usually shows himself very sorry for his actions and that is when he shows his sweetest, most romantic and most adorable aspect.

Abuse can occur once a week, once a month or once every two, the periodicity will depend on the man and the relationship between them. But in times when there is no violence, usually, the man is very loving and full of attention to women, something that causes emotional dependence on her part is considerable.

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A battered woman often confesses that she is still in love with her husband and that is why she can not leave him. It is important that you talk calmly with her, never deny her feelings or put yourself in a negative attitude, but it is important that you make her understand that this is not love, that being in love means loving and respecting the other person as she is in all aspects.

You can not be in love with a person who does you so much harm or a person you fear. That is not love, it is emotional dependence and it is important that you give it to understand through examples and affectionate words. Above all never put yourself against her or tell her that she is not in love since this kind of attitude can make her not feel supported by you and believe that nobody understands her, only him. In the event that you find yourself unable to speak with her in a calm and patient manner, we recommend that you accompany her to a psychologist to help her open her eyes.

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Batterers not only physically attack but a strong part of the mistreatment is of a psychological nature so it is quite likely that if you want to help a battered woman you will find that it is something similar to a concrete block. It will be difficult, especially at the beginning, to create a connection between you and that she totally trusts you. This happens because the men who mistreat, to get the woman to depend totally on him and be subdued, try to make her understand that no one wants them, that he is the only one who loves her. Try to make her believe that her friends treat her as if she were stupid (for example) or that they envy her or make fun of her, etcetera.

The goal is to ensure that the woman feels alone in the world with the only company of him, so, the first moments in which you are giving your help you will find that she may be reluctant and distrustful. Psychological abuse is much more complicated to overcome than the physical and the best way you can help your friend in this sense is to accompany her to therapy groups in which other women have also suffered this situation; In this way she will realize that she feels the same as many other females because she has gone through exactly the same. In this video we show you how to overcome psychological abuse.

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In order to help a battered woman it is important that you are available to speak . Little by little you will notice how it is opening up and how you need to share, express yourself, communicate. You must be there, ready to listen to it and, above all, leaving aside judgments and comments such as: How did you allow it ?, Why did you let yourself do this ?, etc. This type of phrases will only make you feel even more stupid and with self-esteem on the floor. So just listen to her, support her and be close to her.

Keep in mind that one of the aspects that are most badly damaged after abuse is self-esteem and self-confidence . Batterers often make their victims feel like helpless, empty and uninteresting, that is why they feel so small that they believe that only they will be able to love him, that is why they are content with the relationship they maintain. Men often nullify women by telling them how to dress, what to comb, what to do with others, and so on.

For this reason, one of the basic aspects of helping an abused woman is that she recovers her authentic "I", encourages her to do what she has always wanted to do, or go shopping meetings to dress as she pleases. Going back to recovering herself is an essential step to be able to overcome her relationship and start over.

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It is also important that you try to convince your friend or family member to report the husband . This will be a complicated aspect and surely you will have to take the issue several times before you dare to take the step but it is highly recommended that justice is put in the middle to try to prevent the abuser from approaching the woman and may commit a greater barbarity. Try to understand the seriousness of the matter and accompany her to the police station to process the complaint as soon as possible. Every year women die by the hand of their husbands, it is not nonsense.