How to learn to forgive

Knowing how to forgive is wise. By forgiving the other, we free ourselves from an unhelpful emotional burden that prevents us from moving forward and enjoying life. Forgive to free yourself, forgive to move forward, forgive so as not to live in a grudge that imprisons, why not forgive? On many occasions, our resentment towards someone is not even known by that other person; So, why continue with that burden on our shoulders? Would not it be better to forgive and let go? Forgiveness will always benefit us in the first instance, but it is true that there are times when carrying out this action is not easy. From .com, we will try to help you to learn to forgive so we can be happier.

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First of all, we have to know how to differentiate when our forgiveness is superficial or real. On many occasions, we think that we have already forgiven but in the depths of our being there are still traces of resentment and revenge. If we do not forgive with the heart, we will continue to feel a weight in our day to day that can be translated into depression, bad mood and reluctance. We also have to bear in mind that forgiveness is a long road that needs time and dedication, it is a great effort that we can not expect to achieve in two days. And also, the time will vary depending on the person and what needs to be forgiven.

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The first step to forgive is to want to do it. So we must ask ourselves with total sincerity if we really want to bury the hatchet and leave the matter in the past. If yes, keep going. Express your decision to forgive and your commitment to work for it. By saying things up, they come out of our mind and take reality in the form of words. Another option is to do it in writing, the important thing is that they come from within one way or another.

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After doing this, let us acknowledge the pain they have caused us and, above all, recognize the right to be respected that we deserve. Forgiving does not mean that we should denigrate ourselves or make ourselves feel that the damage received was deserved. We are valuable as anyone and we must be respected in the same way that we respect others. Discover in the following article useful tips to increase self-esteem.

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Let all the bad things come out and undo it. It is necessary to name negative emotions and recognize them in order to work them. Of course, the best thing is not to do it in front of the person in question, since to put in front of that person the only thing that can do is that the problem is enlarged. The work of forgiveness is for you, it is for your improvement. Take the best time and place to do it, look for a quiet place where you can be alone as long as necessary.

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Some ways that will help you externalize emotions are the following:

• Write a letter Put everything you think, everything you feel and everything you've felt. Do not cut yourself. The objective of the letter is to remove everything. Do not worry about the tone and the words. The letter is not to send it.
• Imagine that you have that person in front of you and shout everything that comes out.
• Use a cushion, hit it while you express aloud everything you feel and think about that person.

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When you have released all your pain, touch, perhaps, the hardest work: analyze why you have hurt everything that has happened. It's time to look inside ourselves and see what other hidden emotions are behind: humiliation, fear, rejection, etc. However hard a situation of pain may be, we can learn more about ourselves from all of them. We are more vulnerable, yes, but we are also more receptive to being aware of our most hidden unconscious. Find all your feelings, accept them and express them.

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And finally, put yourself in the other person's place . Surely from that person's point of view, because of his personal history, what he did to you is not wrong. It is not about justifying your act, but maybe if you put yourself in their shoes you can understand something of their way of acting and that will help you even more to forgive. In the following article we give you the keys you need to be a more empathetic person.

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So be patient and repeat the process as many times as you think convenient, it rarely works with just one time. You decide how long you want to work the situation to learn to truly forgive. Of course, do not hesitate to do it, once you get rid of that pain, your life will change for the better and that's the best of all.