How to learn to listen

One of the biggest shortcomings of humans is that we talk more than what we hear . This can mean a problem when establishing a relationship of trust with others, as well as generating that people do not count on us to expose a situation or a problem in which they find themselves. When we speak, we like that the person in front of us pay attention, and in the same way, we must correspond with our attention. Listening is a virtue that allows us to capture what we hear, analyze the information received and make decisions or formulate opinions in a more objective way. If you have noticed that you tend not to pay attention, or if someone has told you that you never listen or that you do not let others speak, in this article of .com we explain how to learn to listen .

Stop thinking about you

Although it sounds a little abrupt, we have to know how to focus on others and know when we should be attentive to them to help them. In the same way, it is important to be focused when someone gives you an explanation in any context, since otherwise, the other person may think that you do not care about what is explaining to you and may feel offended. We usually find two types of people:

• Those who do not listen because they have a hard time focusing on what the other person is explaining to them, are easily distracted, or tend to disconnect from the conversation when another person talks to them about something that interests them.
• Those people who do not let others talk, or who interrupt constantly without letting the other person finish their explanation. These are the people who usually think about things that happen to them, and do not care about what others are telling them, but always compare situations or experiences that arise in the conversation and compare them are their own.

Try to be receptive

In a conversation there are a series of verbal and non-verbal signals that show your interest in the sender. These are used, in most cases involuntarily and spontaneously to show that you are following the conversation, and that what you are listening to interests you. Therefore, focusing on adopting this set of signals will allow the other person to perceive your interest and realize that you are really listening.

Verbal signs

They are those sounds or words that we incorporate in parallel to the explanations of the other person, without interrupting it. It is very easy to understand this type of behavior if you think of a phone call, in which you can not see the other person but make small interventions so that you know you are paying attention.

Non-verbal signals

It's basically body language . We must look at the person, so that he / she perceives that we are paying attention, nodding, making faces that show that you understand the situation and that you are interested in what you are listening to. It is one of the most important aspects to learn to listen. In this article we show you how to communicate with body language.

Try to be empathetic

Empathy is the virtue of knowing how to put yourself in another person's situation, to understand what is happening to them, how they feel, and to be aware of many things that we can not express in words. For this it is essential to listen carefully, and before giving our opinion, interrupt or respond in a hurry, we must think and try to understand what that person is exposing us. It is an essential step to learn to listen, as well as to be effective when it comes to helping someone. In this article we explain how to be an empathic person.

Speaking more does not mean communicating more

Talking more is not the same as knowing more, talking more does not mean being the boss, talking more does not mean saying more things ... That's right, better saying more with less, than talking a lot to say little. Reflect, think, turn things around, and when you have ordered the ideas in your head after listening, talk. Learning to listen will also help what you say make sense. Therefore, listening will allow us to give opinions or express our thoughts in a coherent way, so that the other person will see that we have understood what he has explained to us, as well as being able to contribute something useful in response.

Listen and think

On the other hand, learning to listen also implies knowing if the person is asking for our opinion, or just exposing an argument or explaining a situation that he or she has experienced. Some people may find it annoying if we give our opinion when they have not asked for it. Therefore, we have to know when we have to listen, and when we have to listen and provide our advice. Normally, a person who wants our opinion will ask for it, while at other times we should only listen, without going any further. This happens because, sometimes, we just need to explain things in order to vent, without needing to seek help or advice. On the contrary, it may happen that we have had a problem and that we seek the help of someone to give us advice or provide us with their point of view of the problem.